I’ve been diagnosed with moderate depression and social anxiety. Yes, those are real conditions, and they can feel pretty fuckin’ real if you let them take over. I’ve lived with these conditions for the span of my adulthood. Maybe when I was a teenager, but I’ve chalked those feelings up to teenage angst.
When I’m in the depths of my depression, I don’t even want to get out of bed. I want to hide under the blanket and just exist there. Life doesn’t work that way and the part of me that fights depression is glad for that.
I have to get up. I have to get out.
I have responsibilities. I have people that rely on me.
And I have those I rely on. My wife, who is my hero and best friend, has helped me through every step of my depression. When I freeze up, and I feel like I’ve climbed up a tree but am too petrified to climb back down, she’s there for me. She listens and also gives advice. I’d be lost without her.
So, this website, where I get to combine several of my hobbies (i.e. riding, writing and design) gives me an outlet. It keeps the blues away.
A Light Smattering of Clichés
If you feel like you have depression, don’t wait to get help. And there’s a ton of it out there.
Believe me, I know how it feels when you’re completely down, and even the thought of getting help seems useless. Like you’re a lost cause. Like you’re not good enough.
I say, “Bullshit.” You are good enough. There are those out there that love and care about you. And if you feel like you’ve got nobody in your life, there are several sites that can help you.
Seek a local medical professional.
You Absolutely Matter
And if you feel like nothing will help and somehow suicide is your last resort. I want you to stop, and think about those that do love you. They’re out there. They will listen to you.
You can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or call them at 1-800-273-8255.
You are not alone in your struggles. Many people feel and experience the same things you do and are willing to talk. Ignore those around you who say things like “buck up” or “quit feeling sorry for yourself” or even “don’t be a pussy.” Depression is a monster living inside you and you need to recognize it for what it is. Get help.